There is absolutely nothing wrong about going to see a marriage counsellor about your relationship issues. Although this might seem like a big step to take, the act of seeking help is in itself an indication that you want things to be better, and this is both an understandable and respectable desire. While in Australia approximately one in three marriages these days end in divorce, efforts at better communication and an openness about any problems a marriage may be having can help prevent your marriage from becoming part of that statistic. In any case, it's important to know when it's time to seek the help of a professional relationship counsellor.
A lack of intimacy and conversation
Sometimes, a couple may feel like the "spark" that initially set their relationship into motion has gone out. You may find yourself occupying the same home but rarely talking, doing things together, or becoming intimate. A decrease in how often you communicate may be the first sign that you should seek the help of a professional counsellor. Often, it takes outside help to get a couple to be more open about their thoughts and reservations.
Negative communication and feelings
Negative communication refers to when the things you say to one another, or the general tone of your conversation, results in one or both parties feeling depressed or insecure. Once communication is lacking or almost never positive, it's difficult to push it back into the right direction without mediated help. This is especially important when your communication amounts or leads to emotional or physical abuse or someone acting out on their negative feelings by harming themself or others.
Affairs in the picture
Trust and mutual respect can break down rapidly after a partner has an affair or when one or both people in a marriage consider having an affair. While serious and painful, honest communication facilitated by a therapist can make it is possible to rebuild a relationship following such an event. This is not going to be easy, but it isn't altogether impossible either.
Desire for a separation
It's quite common to require a "break" away from a relationship following a heated argument or continued disagreement. However, when differences can't seem to be reconciled, arguments become commonplace and the time spent away from one another increases, it can feel like separation is the only logical option. In the case of families, it may sometimes even feel like the only thing keeping a couple together is the welfare of their children. In these situations, marriage counselling can be surprisingly effective.
If any of these examples sound familiar, it may be time to look for help outside of your marriage. While this might appear scary at first, the main point is to try to facilitate open and honest discussion. Many marriages have come back from the brink of divorce by the couples just talking about their issues with the guidance of a marriage expert.
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